When preparing your taxes please consider the following:
1. The Standard Verbage Rate allowed for operating your vocabulary for non-professional reasons is 23 cents per word. For unprofessional reasons the rate is 24 cents per word.
2. If you borrowed any words during the year you need to report the interest. Please note, you may deduct the first thousand consonants.
3. According to the Paperword Reduction Act Notice, all words that appear on paper will be taxed according to the following calculation— add the number of words on lines 2 and 3 then subtract with the sum of the square of the hypotenuse of lines 4-5. If the resulting word is bigger than place it in column A.
3. Gifts of words are deductible assuming there are no four letter words.
4. If you made a gift of more than 250 words please attach a statement explaining why.
5. Use of foreign language in any domestic correspondence is taxed at 32% or more depending on the country. For more information, contact your verbal representative.
6. The following words cannot be deducted: curate, hipster, organic, update, arbitrary
7. Emoticons are not considered words and therefore are non-taxable in all states but New Jersey.
8. If you overpaid your verbal taxes you will receive a refund in your voicemail.
9. You cannot deduct the word dependents but you can deduct dependents.
10. Homonyms are automatically deducted from your payroll.
11.The following words are exempt from taxes:
Imagineering, Susan, Julie