Apple iPhone 5 live blogging coverage…live from my desk on Mariposa St.

9:45 a.m Listening to music on mute.  

10:15 a.m. According to live bloggers at the event Tim Cook has taken the stage.  

10:16 a.m. Smart Water bottle has been spotted on the stage raising the question: will Steve Jobs show up. Oh the drama of it all.

10:17a.m. Too anxious to report anything at this time.

10:18 a.m. Water sighting has made me thirsty.

10:30 a.m. Just learned of the hidden omelet station. Wonder if Apple is going into cook wear…get it….cook you know Tim Cook. OK this blogging is really hard.

10:32 a.m. Checking email. Mostly coupons and deals on things I shouldn’t buy but will and then never redeem. I’m such a statistic.

10:45 a.m. Drank a latte with 1% milk and 2 teaspoons of sugar. Surfed Twitter for #insights. Found none.

10:59 a.m. Apple announced iCloud, nano and iTouch updates…still waiting to hear the number 5.

11:11 a.m. Nothing to say…just think it is a really cool time since it is all ones.

11:12 a.m. Refreshed my browser. The market is down.

11:15 a.m. Looked up the word bandersnatch in the dictionary. Considered posting it to my Facebook page. Too lazy.  Read the paper. Just kidding. Read a couple of people who read the paper and then tweet about it. Much faster. I think they call it threading. Maybe not. Maybe I just made that up.

11:30 a.m. Refreshed my browser. Ate some almonds and made a call on my landline. Looked knowingly at my Apple 3G and it looked back at me longingly. Oh the agony of it all.

11:31 a.m. the iPhone 5 4s is announced.

11:32 a.m. Hmm what does the “s” stand for? Substitute. Super. Sounds like Five. Sup? Steve. Or maybe it’s just a subtle suggestion of pluralism. 4s better than 3s? Oh no here I go again trying to overvalue certain consonants. Verbal inflation at it’s most flagrant. And absurd.

11:33 a.m. Maybe the number 5 was not legally available. Naming is tough. Next time, they should call us.

11:34 a.m. Just finished reading the WSJ and NYT blogs reporting that the iPhone 4s will talk to you. Tell you what to do. Sounds passive aggressive. I was hoping it was going to have 8-ball technology so it could answer questions like: Will there ever be an iPhone 5? Answer: We don’t think so
Or Should I sell my Apple stock? Answer: yes, most definitely.

11:45 a.m. OK so it looks like the gig is up. The big iPhone 5 announcement is that there is no iPhone 5. Once again, Apple surprises the world. I’m giddy with excitement. I think. I must get one of whatever it is they announced.

11:47 a.m.  Hmm only 10 minutes till lunch…if only I had an iPhone 4S to tell me where I could find a Greek restaurant in the area.

11:55 a.m. Denied access to Apple’s site.

12:30 p.m. Finally, got onto to Apple’s site.  Forgot why I was there.

12:32 p.m. Denied access to another part of Apple’s site. Feeling rejected.

12:45 p.m.  Live blogging coverage of the event live from my desk is officially over.

12:46 p.m. Preparing for live blogging coverage of live bloggers commenting on the event. No scratch that. Seems better for Twitter. Better yet let’s Instagram that. Stat.