Delayed blogging coverage from my desk on Mariposa St. of the highly anticipated arrival of my iPhone

Friday October 14, 2011

5:03 a.m. Woke up early. Checked my emails. Mostly spam.

5:05 a.m. Checked emails again. OMG I have a shipment notification from Apple. The iPhone is in transit.

5:06 a.m. Pass out from excitement.

7:30 a.m. Wake up again… thanks to the alarm on my embarrassingly old Apple iPhone 3gs that I will sell on Gazelle the minute I get my new phone. Sorry 3gs we had some good moments, but it’s time for you to go. I need a device that can do more than just be a computer, a camera, a music player and oh yeah a phone. I need a personal valet. And I need it NOW.

7:43 a.m. Go to iPhone notification email and click on the button that says track shipment. Uh oh…I get a page that says Apple is updating it’s store with this weird yellow sticky note. Since when does Apple use yellow sticky notes and tacky typefaces….I miss Steve already.
7:45 a.m. Paralyzed by panic.  OR is that with panic?

8:45 a.m. Can’t take the pressure. Called my therapist. He put me on hold. Apparently there are lots of other stressed out iPhone users ahead of me.

9:15 a.m. Listened to phone muzak. Heard a classical piano interpretation of Katy Perry’s hit, California Gurls. Hung up feeling acoustically violated.

10:00 a.m. Can’t believe it’s only 10. I guess it's 12:00 somewhere else. 

11:52 a.m. Checked Apple’s share price. Gulp. Wish they would Groupon that stock.

11.55 Hunger pains.

12:01 p.m. Ordered take out using new food app called Seamless. It wasn’t.

12:02 p.m. Lost my appetite watching a show called Chew.

12:12 p.m. Testing…testing. 12…12. Get it. The time. Sorry, getting loopy here.

12:31 p.m. Re-read David Pogue’s article on how great the new iPhone will be… if I could just get it.

1:15 p.m. FED EX man is at the door. False alarm.  I’m waiting for UPS.

1:18 p.m. Drank a Red Bull with vodka to calm my nerves.

1:20 p.m. Now I’m anxious and inebriated.

1:25 p.m Went to the restroom.

I:26 p.m. Suddenly thought, what if the UPS person arrives while I am indisposed?

1:27 p.m No UPS note on door. Pure relief.

1:29 p.m. Address mix up. UPS can’t deliver till Monday. Everything is going dark. I think I’m having a UPS induced Black Brown Out.

2:00 p.m. Called UPS help line. Said I could pick up the phone between 8 and 9 tonite.

2:01-4:14 Worked and stuff.

4:15 p.m. Went for a barefoot run. My first time. And no I don’t have those shoes. I went in my barefeet.

4:17 p.m. Covered about 50 yards before stepping on a rock…ok a pebble. Limped home. 

4:20-7:58 Worked and stuff.

7:59 p.m.  Drove to UPS store. Wow. Looked like a giant protest. Is it Occupy Wall Street? Is it the Tea Party? Is it a hipster flash mob? No, it’s a line of anxious, exhausted people waiting to get their undelivered iPhones.  

9:42 p.m. Got the iPhone. Too exhausted to use it.