6:00 p.m. Order pizza. A large sausage and pepperoni. Hold the pineapple.
6:01 p.m. Decide to follow only two political pundits tonite: @thefauxjoe and @p90xryan on Twitter.
6:05 p.m. Print out official vice presidential drinking game rules. Decide to substitute espresso for beer so I can stay awake.
6:10 p.m. Mute sound so I can properly analyze all non-verbal communications. Let the eye rolling, shrugging and finger pointing begin.
6:15 p.m. Decide to turn up sound so I can hear the candidates spin seriously complex issues into simple-simon like parables.
6:16 p.m. Wonder if Paul Ryan is related to Meg Ryan.
6:17 p.m. Wonder if Paul Ryan ever wondered the same thing.
6:20 p.m. Feeling depressed. Start binging on hyperlinks. Can’t decide if I should call a therapist or make an appointment at the genius bar.
6:22 p.m. Decide to create a game called That’s Debatable. First topic: When an alarm rings is it going on or off?
6:23 p.m. Immediately secure the url.
6:16 p.m. Wonder if Big Bird will get mentioned…although this may be more of an Elmo crowd. Now, That’s Debatable.
7:00 p.m. Accessed the fact checker app on my phone. Hope it works better than the truth meter.
7:30 p.m. Grabbed my political ice pack for relief.
7:40 p.m. Wondered if Dan Quayl
e was watching the debate or reading looking at his complimentary copy of Pat the Politician.
7:45 p.m. With all due respect looked up the word malarkey.
7:46 p.m. Uh-oh seems like the candidates are suffering from a severe case of interuptitus. For which there is but one cure—the interuptitus swatter.
8:22 p.m. Oops..caught myself shamelessly plagiarizing myself again (see 7:30 p.m. entry). Apologized to myself.
8:30 p.m. Searched for the best after parties. Looks like Kid Rock is having another kegger.
9:00 p.m. Thankfully the debate is over. Ryan finished in less time than Biden. Must be that marathon training.